Sample Page One

Sample Page Two

Nicely done, except I do think my editing was better. I think this is due to compartmentalization. The person who edited the text was given a translation and had to lay out those exact words in the text bubbles, with no edits, is my guess. Being both the translator and the editor, I was able to make subtle edits or phrase things a slightly different way to better make the "shape" of the words fit the word bubble.

william sounds -way- to freaking eager about that hankerchief in the first sample page

I wish American editors would stop bolding every other word as if we can't see which word is being articulated from context.

I'm not sure he really means to give her 100200 handkerchiefs, either.

Ok, snarkiness aside, it's not too bad. Whispers is right that her editing is better in general, and some lines are a bit awkward, but overall it's decent.

I expected you people to be a lot more disappointed. ; )

I haven't read the original Japanese edition or any other English translation. But, I'm sure Emma said "ハンカチを一枚" in the first page.

As you may already know, Japanese language doesn't have definite/indefinite articles such as "a, an, the". So if she said 一枚, she clarly indicated the number.

As for that "100, 200", I guess William said "100枚でも200枚でも", didn't he? If so, でも means the numbers are just an example or supposition. What William meant is "even though it is 100 or 200, that is fine."

In my opinion, William's answer is something like:
"A handkerchief? Fine! But Only one? I'll get you 100 or 200 if you wish."

The editor didn't have to emphasize the word "handkerchief" because William didn't care the handkerchief. He did care the price. He just wanted to impress it on her that he would buy anything, and really wanted to give her a more expensive present.

There is a comma between the 100 and 200, isn't there?

But that comma could seem to be just a pose inserted for readability between the third and the fourth digit of 100200.

Exactly. It's not wrong to write like that, but it's also not something you should do, because it is ambiguous.

CMX has inherited random bolding from their parent company, I see.

In the hands of a good author, with a good editor, bolding can work well and not be intrusive in American comics. Trying to jam it in to translated manga doesn't seem like a capital idea, though.

Actually, I rather like bolding. Not so much reading; but when writing it gives me security that there's less of a chance if mis-interpretation.
Mind you, given that the typesetter started randomly bolding one portion, and left the rest alone makes me think he/she didn't know what they were doing. The only usage of it I agree with is the handkerchief statement.

>>2449
true that. :\